Change - sometimes it's for the best
With the washing machine whirring gently in the background
everything feels on an even keel and very domestic as I sit down to write this.
Then from the radio comes the
announcement that Pope Benedict is resigning. It’s a bold step to state that, ‘in
today’s world, subject to so many rapid changes… (I) have to recognise my
incapacity to adequately fulfil the ministry entrusted to me.’
Change is the theme here. Change; an ability to let things
go, to see clearly when certain systems, cultural, political and social, serve
no purpose and are based on a vow made in times past. My own journey with
Georgia reflects this theme. I vowed, in 2010, to walk by the side of a
Georgian man, who had in turn made his vow to me We were to work together to
preserve and cherish the traditions and music of Georgia. This Georgian man
embodied all that (or so I was given to believe) was noble and true about the
Georgian identity. That vow, now broken, kept me powerless and blind to the possibility of change, kept
me sick and ill with grief, the purpose of which, I now acknowledge, was designed to strip me of my power, my voice and
my ability to recognise when change needed to happen.
Like an onion peeling and revealing its layers, I can now see
that the quest of the Saakashvili and the previous Georgian government to westernise
many aspects of Georgian culture quickly has had a detrimental effect on the attitudes
towards women within that society. It is
almost as if a cancerous and insidious backlash of action against anything
which empowers people, if it is compared to some Western ideals, is ridiculed
at best and ignored at worst. This has been highlighted significantly over the
past few days when the image of a woman with a bloody nose who had attended the
protest outside the National Library in Tbilisi, was flashed across TV screens
and on Facebook pages. Alongside general condemnation of the violence itself was
a judgement, made by some and echoed by others, that women ought not to be out protesting, that it was not their place.
Thank God this woman was there.
She chose to be there because she clearly felt strongly enough
to protest and strong enough to add her
voice to the opinions of the people on the streets. This is a sign of
democracy. There are no guarantees or fail safes when protesting, there is no
control, it can be unpredictable and sometimes dangerous. This woman knew
that. How does the Georgian culture deal
with this shift? The idea that women are now, very publicly adding their voices
and actions in protest? If the reaction
by many men and indeed Georgian women were to be believed it would appear they
are being condemned. I know of many Georgian women who are using their voices
to promote change, women from The Women’s Fund who are talking openly about
women and sexuality on Georgian television, Georgian Women who are teaching
English and who are trying to empower themselves financially and academically by
contacting and speaking with people in the west. I know TV
presenters, Radio presenters, Academics,
Women in banks, in the arts, in the theater, in admin. Many of these women earn more than their husbands. I know women
who have been left and abandoned, used and ignored, judged by the church, by
their families and by a culture based on a vow made in a time that no longer serves
any purpose but to which so many seem to continue to want to hold.
Many Georgian women want to change and want to protest, in as
many different ways as there are protesters and like butterflies, who appear
fragile, they are actually incredibly strong and are changing. Hopefully they are dragging a reluctant culture behind
them. I applaud them.
To those women who are too scared, who feel trapped or
frightened and to those women who are choosing to abide by a vow designed to
oppress them I say find it in yourself to be stronger, be more resolute, don’t
throw the baby out with the bathwater but work together for your future. I would
like to, if you will let me, stand by your side.
I only hope that the Georgian society as a whole can
experience a cultural shift and, like the Pope, see when it has reached its ‘incapacity
to fulfill the ministry’, recognize that the vows made in the past will
merely block the road to the future and I
hope and pray that Georgia (and us) can act positively and embrace some changes which can only be for the good.
Sarah
Ch-ch-ch-changes …
Change is what we all hope for, yet
it is something we are oddly reluctant to believe in. I find it impossible to
imagine a time when I could feel good singing Georgian music again, when me and
my partner can walk hand in hand through Tbilisi or when the country has a
thriving, unafraid LGBTQ community. Of course, if someone had told me when I
was a child, that by the time I hit my 30s the Troubles in Northern Ireland
would largely be a thing of the past, I wouldn't have believed that either. I
grew up in a London that was frequently bombed, and the West End was out of
bounds every year from November when the IRA started their Christmas bombing
campaign. Supermarkets, schools, shopping centres, cinemas – I was evacuated
out of all of them at one point or another. I suppose the residents of East
Berlin before the Wall came down felt much the same way. I should think
Palestinians and Tibetans feel that way right now. My point is that everything
changes – we know that because we see it every day in the weather, our own
faces, the things we like, the things we eat. But when it comes to the big things,
the societal things, the really horrible shitty things, we find it impossible
to believe. These things change too; bombings stop, walls come down, bitter
enemies become friends and people's hearts are made new and unbroken.
A leopard doesn't change it's
spots – some say. Rubbish, I say. If people didn't change, then we would
always have to wait until an old generation died out before a war ended,
opinions moved on, people wore different styles of clothing or things ever
improved. It might not always feel like it, but things improve all the time.
Tell me you can't think of one instance when you changed your opinion on
something, and I won't believe you – especially if you are an ex anything.
Aren't we all ex something? Ex-wives, ex-husbands, ex-lovers,
ex-smokers, ex-vegetarians, expats?
I remember a time when change
happened really fast in the UK; the time when became ex-homophobic. I don't
think it was related, but it came about when the UK took up mobile phone use en
masse in '98, I think, or '99. It also coincided with the real end of the
Thatcher years, when the grey caretaker PM John Major was replaced by Tony
Blair. This was before he became 'Bliar' and I think there definitely was
a link there, at least. It was also about the same time that there was an
openly gay character on Eastenders. It was that character that caused my
sister to finally understand what her brother had been talking about, a couple
of years before. Ex-homophobes, ex-racists, ex-misogynists. It almost happened
overnight, almost. So what has this to do with Georgia? Simply this;
change will come to Georgia and it will come fast –
be sure of that. When it does, we have to make sure we are ready to make
friends with our ex-enemies.
Richard
